I sure hope that everyone had a wonderful stress free Thanksgiving holiday. I know that my husband and I enjoyed eachothers company. We played some board games and watched some movies at home.
It snowed here a little over a week ago and since then the weather has been very cold and snowing on and off. I understand from the forecasters (they are only right part of the time) this is suppost to be a bad winter. All I can say is I have only been here for 4 winters and this one has been the worst one being so far. Tonight we are forecasted to get 4-6 inches and ice in the morning hours. The rest of the week is much of the same.
Today was my day to make my pearsauce. I can no longer eat applesauce and love it. So I buy large bags of pears and make my own. I am sure that it is better for me because I don't have all the extra crap in it. But with all the damn breaks I have to take it is a 4 hour long process. But so well worth it, this time I didn't buy as many pears because of the cost so it is not going to last long at all. I have had to buy so many things that are not processed that it is night and day to the way I use to shop just a short year ago.
My pain hasn't let up but I have to push through the day. I don't go to work and not sure how I could make it through the day if I did. I haven't heard from SSD I applied 6 months ago. I understand they have upto a year before they have to answer the first request. I hope that they approve me. I need insurance and money, I guess if they don't it will be on state aid. Not looking forward to that, but going to have to think about it. My secondary insurance runs out in another month. I would advice any and everyone always get aflac or something like it. You never know what is instore for you when you wake up in the morning. I have always had the problems with my bladder but never knew what was wrong or that it would take over my whole life. But if I wouldn't of taken out the insurance my husband and I wouldn't of been able to stay off of state aid this long.
I am so tired and hurting so much lately and don't want to bother anyone with my problems, I just wonder does anyone really get what I am going through? Or the bigger question does anyone really care?
I will end this for now, but I pray for all of you. I don't want anyone to feel like me.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Clouds
Today is so sad outside, it isn't to cold out but you would think it is just by looking out the window. Well I have forced myself to get up shower and try to look like a normal wife. I do this everyday in hopes that my husband will think that he is still married to somewhat of a normal lady. I would hate for him to really know that I have to drag myself through the day, most of the time crying inside. I don't want anyone I love to know that I hurt as bad as I do. It is hard work to put on a good front, not sure how long I can keep this up but I can try.
On the good side of this I did get some of the laundry done, if you don't do some of it every few days I don't think I could get it done. We had a very bland supper, well my part of it I always put extra seasonings on my husbands. He isn't the one that is have problems just me.
I am trying to figure out what would be good things for Thanksgiving, we will be here together and that is fine. But since I can't really travel I feel a need to give him a wonderful meal. If anyone has any wonderful ideas please let me know. The normal Greenbean Casserole is out because of the crap that is in it. I know he loves it so I need to figure out something. Turkey is fine because it is pretty bland. I just want him to have a wonderful day, this isn't his fault. I know that it isn't mine but I am forced to live this life. I don't ever want to loose him because of this awful disease.
I love all of you, and pray that everyone is having a month to be thankful for.♥
On the good side of this I did get some of the laundry done, if you don't do some of it every few days I don't think I could get it done. We had a very bland supper, well my part of it I always put extra seasonings on my husbands. He isn't the one that is have problems just me.
I am trying to figure out what would be good things for Thanksgiving, we will be here together and that is fine. But since I can't really travel I feel a need to give him a wonderful meal. If anyone has any wonderful ideas please let me know. The normal Greenbean Casserole is out because of the crap that is in it. I know he loves it so I need to figure out something. Turkey is fine because it is pretty bland. I just want him to have a wonderful day, this isn't his fault. I know that it isn't mine but I am forced to live this life. I don't ever want to loose him because of this awful disease.
I love all of you, and pray that everyone is having a month to be thankful for.♥
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Interstim One week Post Op.
First let me start by saying I hope that this doesn't become a bunch of symbols as soon as I post it. I have talked to some people and they told me how to fix the problem I hope that it works.
I have had the interstim surgery done. I had it done on November 2nd 2010, it was easier than the trial surgery. But the down side is that this isn't working as well as the trial. I went to the doctor today and he told me it can take up to a year till the best results. I have to say that I have some good results, I get to sleep for 2 hours at a time instead of 1 hour. That is enough to be happy about.
I have been having a hard time with pain but thankful to be a patient at the pain clinic. I know that not all the people with IC get to be involved in that. I just happened upon the right doctor.
I have lost so much with this disease and sure feel like I will never get any of it back. The truth is I probably won't. I will never be pain free, never be able to eat the yummy foods of the past, and will never get back the job and friends that I had. But I have to be positive and think that GOD has done this for a reason, the reason that I haven't found yet. But I will try to be strong till then, this is hard to do, but I am trying.
I will make more efforts to post updates here. I wish that IC was cured!♥
I have had the interstim surgery done. I had it done on November 2nd 2010, it was easier than the trial surgery. But the down side is that this isn't working as well as the trial. I went to the doctor today and he told me it can take up to a year till the best results. I have to say that I have some good results, I get to sleep for 2 hours at a time instead of 1 hour. That is enough to be happy about.
I have been having a hard time with pain but thankful to be a patient at the pain clinic. I know that not all the people with IC get to be involved in that. I just happened upon the right doctor.
I have lost so much with this disease and sure feel like I will never get any of it back. The truth is I probably won't. I will never be pain free, never be able to eat the yummy foods of the past, and will never get back the job and friends that I had. But I have to be positive and think that GOD has done this for a reason, the reason that I haven't found yet. But I will try to be strong till then, this is hard to do, but I am trying.
I will make more efforts to post updates here. I wish that IC was cured!♥
Friday, September 3, 2010
I have found some help
First off I am unsure why when I go back and look at previous post that they are just symbols? If anyone has any ideas on how to fix this problem please let me know.
I went to my pain clinic doctor on Thursday and was very happy. Not only am I getting some help with my pain but they called my urologist and got my lidocaine script made for a full month. Now I only have to pay 15 a month instead of 15 for 5 days. I am so happy that they are helping me.
Today I was able to be in less pain but this evening I have started having a flare up. In a way I am so worried that this could be a reaction to the medication. But I have 3 days before the doctors office is open again so that is 3 more days of taking the medication and praying that the flare up calms down.
Well, it is the holiday weekend and another one that I will not be getting out and enjoying. But I pray that with the new interstim thearpy trial that I am doing on the 28th this will be the last holiday that I will be stuck in the house because of my bladder. My husband wanted to go see his parents but that is over 4 hours away and no way that my bladder can handle the car ride.
I pray that my IC sisters will be able to get out and have a wonderful time this weekend. Heavens knows we all need to just have fun and relax.
I went to my pain clinic doctor on Thursday and was very happy. Not only am I getting some help with my pain but they called my urologist and got my lidocaine script made for a full month. Now I only have to pay 15 a month instead of 15 for 5 days. I am so happy that they are helping me.
Today I was able to be in less pain but this evening I have started having a flare up. In a way I am so worried that this could be a reaction to the medication. But I have 3 days before the doctors office is open again so that is 3 more days of taking the medication and praying that the flare up calms down.
Well, it is the holiday weekend and another one that I will not be getting out and enjoying. But I pray that with the new interstim thearpy trial that I am doing on the 28th this will be the last holiday that I will be stuck in the house because of my bladder. My husband wanted to go see his parents but that is over 4 hours away and no way that my bladder can handle the car ride.
I pray that my IC sisters will be able to get out and have a wonderful time this weekend. Heavens knows we all need to just have fun and relax.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Off to another Doctor
The past few days have been busy. I had a wonderful friend/little sister come over and see me for a day. I am trying to get the house cleaned and ready for winter. Yes, I know we just moved and it is probably clean to some people but I see a bunch of things that need to be done, vents are very dirty, cob webs on walls and ceiling (not sure how I am going to get all off the ceiling with it so high up) and more. My husband has PT three times a week but is able to drive himself now, that is a relief.
I have my Interstim Therapy trail scheduled now it is the fear of having it done, will it work or will it all be for nothing again. Just like the 9 DMSO treatments that I had done. I pray that it will help reduce the amount of times I go to the bathroom, even if it would only reduce the night time ones. I go to the bathroom at night between 12-15 times and that is me going to sleep at 11-11:30 and up 7:30-8. I often wonder how I am caring on durning the day.
Today I am off to sign a pain contract, a little nervous about what all is going to be required of me. But excited that I might get actual relief from the disease that has taken my life hostage.
In closing I hope that everyone is getting along better today than they were a week or even a month ago. So times we need to look at the picture of how do we feel today compared to last week or month. Maybe we have made advances. I love all of you and hate the fact that we are all in this fight together. I wouldn't mind caring the fight by myself so everyone else could live.
I have my Interstim Therapy trail scheduled now it is the fear of having it done, will it work or will it all be for nothing again. Just like the 9 DMSO treatments that I had done. I pray that it will help reduce the amount of times I go to the bathroom, even if it would only reduce the night time ones. I go to the bathroom at night between 12-15 times and that is me going to sleep at 11-11:30 and up 7:30-8. I often wonder how I am caring on durning the day.
Today I am off to sign a pain contract, a little nervous about what all is going to be required of me. But excited that I might get actual relief from the disease that has taken my life hostage.
In closing I hope that everyone is getting along better today than they were a week or even a month ago. So times we need to look at the picture of how do we feel today compared to last week or month. Maybe we have made advances. I love all of you and hate the fact that we are all in this fight together. I wouldn't mind caring the fight by myself so everyone else could live.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Feels different
First off not real sure why when I went to look at my past posts it looks as if they are written with symbols and odd letters. Not real sure if that is just my computer or what I will have to check on that.
I have a question that I am going to ask all of you and then on my facebook. For the past two day I have been have a lot of trouble going to the bathroom. I feel the urgency and the awful burning but when I get there I can only go a little. I am in so much pain and now don't even get the relief of going to the bathroom. I have made a phone call to the doctors office and they are going to get me into see a different doctor on Thursday to see what is going on. I need so help now. I can't stant this it is hard to sit, lay or even sleep. Does anyone have any ideas.
Thank you!
I have a question that I am going to ask all of you and then on my facebook. For the past two day I have been have a lot of trouble going to the bathroom. I feel the urgency and the awful burning but when I get there I can only go a little. I am in so much pain and now don't even get the relief of going to the bathroom. I have made a phone call to the doctors office and they are going to get me into see a different doctor on Thursday to see what is going on. I need so help now. I can't stant this it is hard to sit, lay or even sleep. Does anyone have any ideas.
Thank you!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Been Gone!
I have been so busy and just haven't taken time to keep up my blog. I am so sorry to all of you that have read it.
I have been to the urologist and they want to do the interstim therapy trial. The bad thing is that I have to come up with my cobra co-pay first. I have to come up with that real soon or I will not be able to keep that any way. I then made an appointment with a new primary doctor. When I got to my first appointment I was not doing very well (pain). She was asking all the normal questions and then asked me if I wanted that appointment to be the normal new tests or getting set up for the pain clinic. Wow! I wasn't expecting that, for the first time someone was offering to help me with my pain. I didn't even tell her how much pain I was in. God works in very odd ways.
My husband had a complete left knee replacement a month ago. He is doing very good. He has therapy three times a week and of course hates it. He is getting better and that is what counts.
We have moved and are completely unpacked and now finding all the little and big things that need to be fixed here. The good thing is that we are renting. I do love this house, I would buy it if we had the money.
My pain has been real bad but I don't have the time to think about me right now. I try really hard not to let my husband or anyone else know how much pain I am in. I normally lay in bed and cry after he has gone sleep. I have worked so hard to keep my diet within the limits that I can have. The sad part is that I find new things all the time that causes me problems. I have found even a small amount of soy sends my bladder into a fit. I know that everyone is different but when your doctor tells you that your bladder is more sensitive and seems to be in more pain than most of his other patients, I feel alone.
I know that I am not by reading the post on my facebook but I don't get a chance to talk to those people.
My best friend is having a lot of trouble with her gallbladder and can't get in for the test for a few weeks. She is in so much pain, but she did some research and found a diet that is suppost to help when you are having gallbladder trouble. The diet she is having to work with is very strict also. The good thing about her case is "Praying" after her test they will do surgery to remove it and she can continue on with life as if it never happened. She doesn't need the extra hassle of special diets and all the pain. What I wouldn't give to take all her pain from her. I am already in pain there is no need for everyone to feel like they wish they were dead.
I will start posting again and I pray that all my IC sisters are doing better. I pray for ya'll everyday. I am hoping that someone will come up with better medication then the ones we have. This is no life, staying home and when we do go out worrying whether or not there will be a restroom close enough. And then no matter what we do we are never out of pain. I don't think I have had a day that my pain level has been below a 5 in 8 months. What I wouldn't give to feel normal again, to have sex with my husband, to eat anything I wanted, to go for a car ride without paying for it with pain. There is so much I would like to have back and know it has become part of my life just to deal with the pain.
I have been to the urologist and they want to do the interstim therapy trial. The bad thing is that I have to come up with my cobra co-pay first. I have to come up with that real soon or I will not be able to keep that any way. I then made an appointment with a new primary doctor. When I got to my first appointment I was not doing very well (pain). She was asking all the normal questions and then asked me if I wanted that appointment to be the normal new tests or getting set up for the pain clinic. Wow! I wasn't expecting that, for the first time someone was offering to help me with my pain. I didn't even tell her how much pain I was in. God works in very odd ways.
My husband had a complete left knee replacement a month ago. He is doing very good. He has therapy three times a week and of course hates it. He is getting better and that is what counts.
We have moved and are completely unpacked and now finding all the little and big things that need to be fixed here. The good thing is that we are renting. I do love this house, I would buy it if we had the money.
My pain has been real bad but I don't have the time to think about me right now. I try really hard not to let my husband or anyone else know how much pain I am in. I normally lay in bed and cry after he has gone sleep. I have worked so hard to keep my diet within the limits that I can have. The sad part is that I find new things all the time that causes me problems. I have found even a small amount of soy sends my bladder into a fit. I know that everyone is different but when your doctor tells you that your bladder is more sensitive and seems to be in more pain than most of his other patients, I feel alone.
I know that I am not by reading the post on my facebook but I don't get a chance to talk to those people.
My best friend is having a lot of trouble with her gallbladder and can't get in for the test for a few weeks. She is in so much pain, but she did some research and found a diet that is suppost to help when you are having gallbladder trouble. The diet she is having to work with is very strict also. The good thing about her case is "Praying" after her test they will do surgery to remove it and she can continue on with life as if it never happened. She doesn't need the extra hassle of special diets and all the pain. What I wouldn't give to take all her pain from her. I am already in pain there is no need for everyone to feel like they wish they were dead.
I will start posting again and I pray that all my IC sisters are doing better. I pray for ya'll everyday. I am hoping that someone will come up with better medication then the ones we have. This is no life, staying home and when we do go out worrying whether or not there will be a restroom close enough. And then no matter what we do we are never out of pain. I don't think I have had a day that my pain level has been below a 5 in 8 months. What I wouldn't give to feel normal again, to have sex with my husband, to eat anything I wanted, to go for a car ride without paying for it with pain. There is so much I would like to have back and know it has become part of my life just to deal with the pain.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)