Monday

Today I had a phone appointment with a lawyer about SSD. I sure am not liking the thought that I would not be able to go back to some kind of a job. But I don't want to be told that and not have a clue what is the next step. I like to be well informed. I don't feel that I am ready to start the paper work for that yet.
I wish that when you get told you have a disease that is this life changing there was a place that you could go. Input your name and information and they would pair you up with a mentor. Some one that has been living with the disease, with the pain and all the problems that come with it. I am lost out on the open sea, I am doing what I think is right but not sure what I really need to do. I am scared, my family loves me and does care, but they sure don't know how I am feeling.
I am so worried that the DMSO treatments are not going to work, my pain level has not gone below an eight since my treatment. I have started a little bit of shaking in my hands, is this normal or could it be something else? My husband had is doctor's appointment for his knee replacement and I am in so much pain I couldn't even think about going with him (I go to the bathroom every 10-15 min.) Wow what a life!
I have been trying to keep my spirits up, I shower and do my hair and make up daily. I do this because I want to feel pretty. I believe it helps a little. During the times that the pain medication is working its best I can smile and kinda feel normal.
I know this was me feeling sorry for myself, not so good. I do try to be happy, only wish there were mentors to help out.